The thing about blindspots is: they're there, you just aren't aware of them. And they can be so deeply obscured that you think it's just who you are. With Paul Roth's Blindspot Discovery program, I learned not just the role that blindspots play in our decision-making and behavior, but where they come from, what they look like, and how and why they are in fact not who we are. Despite having had a successful career and a family, I've had a lifetime of repeating the many of the same mistakes and having the same misperceptions and false assumptions about many different aspects of life. This kept me from getting the very most out of life, my work and my relationships. I've spent a lot of time just feeling anxious and inadequate, avoiding risks that might well have turbocharged my life. I can see now, having gone through the Blindspot Discovery program, that lessons we learn from the times of our earliest memories can continue to influence us in deeply-rooted ways. We act primally, without thinking, trying to keep ourselves safe from harm, which ends up making us small, keeps us hiding out. And once you learn that these blindspots exist, why they exist, and how to use them to your advantage--you can never unlearn it! All this time, I've been hiding most of all from myself. Thanks to what I've learned in the Blindspot Discovery program, I have started to make different choices--in the light of day, so to speak. I'm deeply grateful to Paul for opening this up for me and helping me understand why I do the things I do--why we all do the things that we do to hold ourselves back.

As I got deeper into the program, it became clear to me that no matter how much it seems I had everything a person could want, there was still something major missing. I came to see how much I had been putting up with that was keeping me stuck. I realized that I had compromised what I wanted by pleasing other people rather than being straight about what I want. This was difficult for me to deal with because there were so many areas that needed me to risk the relationship with people. I have learned to do so and find that my risking relationships rather than pleasing people has built stronger more productive ones. It never seems to get easier but I now know what I need to do.

I always asked myself when do I get taken care of. In the program I saw that it was practically impossible to say "no" to people who needed my help. As a result I gave more to them and got much less in return. It seemed they all took it for granted and when I finally began to ask in return I was met with a surprising level of resistance. But thanks to the program I have learned to say "no" more often and to ask in return when appropriate. Most of all I am no longer drained by the needs of other people and can now take care of myself and my family in a manner they deserve.